Yesterday I took my autistic son to a car boot sale.

He loves them and now it’s a safe and relatively inexpensive way to pass a few hours.

It wasn’t always so.

My son loves things he’s familiar with and used to want to buy every video he already owned. I suspect he didn’t realise there was more than one copy on the planet, and the fact he’d seen another version on someone’s stall didn’t mean his was not  still waiting for him at home.

Anyway, we’ve progressed beyond that stage now, and although DVD’s have taken over, Jodi still wants to buy old videos.  He collects them, but now thankfully, he only wants the ones he hasn’t already got.

It’s much cheaper!

Jodi prefers videos to DVD’s because he can rewind them, and has the uncanny ability of being able to rewind them to the EXACT spot EVERY time.

Yesterday,  whilst we were walking round I noticed a visibly challenged gentleman trying to navigate his way along the rows of stalls.  He had a stick, which he used to make sure he didn’t trip over anything.

Clearly he could see outlines because he would stop in front of a table, face the stall holder and politely request if he or she had a stacking stereo system.

It was obvious he was going to have some difficulty so I offered my assistance and together, the three of us went round the car boot sale in search of the objects of their desire.

It turned out Keith is not only visibly impaired but has Asperger’s  Syndrome.  He’s very intelligent, very articulate, and very vulnerable.  He has real problems with social skills and told me he’s lived in 78 different homes already.  It’s hard to guess, but I suspect he’s about mid- thirties, so that’s a considerable amount of moves.

He told me he’d only been in the area for three weeks, had travelled from his home in a taxi, and was hoping someone would direct him into the town so he could have a drink and a sandwich, order a taxi, and go back home again.

This was no mean feat as the car boot was being held in the rugby field on the outskirts of the town. Even for someone with perfect vision it was a considerable walk and involved crossing a busy road and a bypass.

For someone with partial sight, a walking stick and an armful of purchases, it  would have been incredibly difficult indeed.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, Keith found almost what he was looking for on the very last stall, so I made him wait there whilst I got the car, collected him and his purchases and drove him into town.

I offered to drive him home as I discovered he lived in the same village, but he said he really wanted to go to the pub otherwise he would spend all day stuck in his room on his own with no-one to talk to.

He said he lived in a flat, and when he told me his address I realised most of the people there were considerably older than him.  Keith said apart from fixing up audio equipment, he loved the weather and spent most of the time outside the main door of his apartment block, because he liked to sense the change in the sky and wind.

He confided he felt the other residents didn’t like him very much and probably couldn’t understand him at all.

That’s not unusual for someone with Asperger’s Syndrome.  Being accepted socially is their biggest challenge.  It’s so sad too because they know their situation and desperately want it to be different.

Keith asked me about Jodi and said he was “lucky”.

In many ways he is. 

 Jodi has autism and is non verbal.  He doesn’t seem to care whether people like or accept him.  As long as he has his needs met, he’s happy.

It’s sad, but true, and I am so grateful NOW he is that way, because for the most part he’s oblivious to the hurt and pain inflicted by rude and often ignorant comments made by people who should know better. 

Anyway, as requested I drove Keith to a pub – well three  actually because I couldn’t park anywhere near the first one, the second one was closed and the third one was just brilliant.  If anyone goes to ELY in Cambridgeshire, UK, I can highly recommend the genuine compassion of the staff at The High Flyer.

Before  I dropped Keith off I spoke to the staff to see if he could go in because he’d told me one pub he’d been to had refused to let him in because he had shorts on.  They were long shorts and over them he was wearing a bright yellow waterproof coat, which was as much a safety feature as anything else.

They said it was fine and he assured them they wouldn’t have to look after him.  He said he’d just have a drink, a sandwich and then get a taxi home.

I gave him his purchases and when I mentioned to the staff he’d been really looking for a large stacking audio system, the manager disappeared into a storage shed, came out with exactly what Keith had originally been looking for, and gave it to him.

Needless to say, he was delighted.

I couldn’t see him struggling with  two sets of audio equipment, as he’d told me his flat was on the first floor, so I took everything home with me and delivered it later.

It made his day.

He said he’d never forget our kindness and we’d be in his thoughts as friends always.

It was such a little thing.  Many of us just don’t realise it’s often the smallest of gestures which cost the least,  that mean the most.

Try it sometime!

                Read my poem

Take care

Jean