I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me”?

There were no napkins on the tray so my youngest went across the room to get some.

On his return he accidentally brushed against the back of a woman who was seated at a table with two children of about 8 or 9 years of age.

My son, of course, didn’t realise he’d done anything wrong, and even if he had, would not have been able to apologise properly because he hardly speaks unless prompted.

Now I’ll be the first to admit,  it’s not immediately obvious there’s anything wrong with my son.  Autism can often be invisible at first glance, and the woman grabbed his arm.

That’s not a nice thing to do to anyone, but especially not to a person with autism.

Anyway, my eldest son quickly rushed across, discovered what her problem was and explained his brother hadn’t done it deliberately, that it was an accident and why he hadn’t apologised.

He went on to say “sorry” on his brother’s behalf.

You’d think that would be the end of it wouldn’t you?

Instead the woman went on and on about how he should be more careful and her two young companions called my son a “Stupid spas”, meaning “spastic”.

Not nice, is it?

You’d think the mother would have been ashamed and reprimanded the children for being so rude, and insensitive, but instead she allowed them to make rude gestures to my sons for the remainder of the time they were in the restaurant.

These gestures were ones you wouldn’t expect a responsible adult to use in a public place, yet alone a child.

Now both my sons are big lads – adults in fact, and I know this is probably showing my age, but when I was young we respected our elders. We didn’t answer them back and were even in awe of children just a few years older than ourselves.

Of course, times have changed, but my question is, when did parents lose all control over their children?

What happened to society that people just take their own comfortable lives for granted and forget most people less fortunate than themselves don’t choose to be that way?

My son has autism. He’s trapped and can do nothing about it.

He didn’t choose to be autistic, no-one would, just like no-one would choose to have any form of disability, but it happens.

It has nothing to do with race, wealth or religion – some people just draw the short straw.

I wish I’d been in that restaurant last night.

I would have politely pointed out to that “lady” and her children that one day they could find themselves in a similar situation. Maybe they’ll have an accident and be left brain damaged or physically disabled, perhaps a child with a disability will be born into their family, or to someone close to them.

I wouldn’t wish it on them, but as I said, these things happen.

I wonder if it struck close to home they’d still use phrases like “Stupid spas” then?

Somehow, I don’t think so.

My youngest son is lucky. He has autism and doesn’t understand cruel words and gestures, but his brother does.

He was hurt and rightly so, but he’s an adult and can put it down to ignorance on behalf of the other diners.

Imagine though, if those jibes had been directed towards a vulnerable and sensitive child with some other form of disability, who understood the words and their implications.

Verbal abuse can be incredibly painful.

Talking of abuse, I was saddened to learn Amy Winehouse, the talented singer who wrote such haunting lyrics had fallen foul of drink and drugs this week.

You’d think she would have had everything going for her but I hear she was a “troubled” teenager and daily you can see evidence many of her peers are following her downward spiral.

Why?

Is it because they don’t have good role models to look up to any more – people who have respect for themselves and others?

If that mother in the restaurant is anything to go by the future is looking very bleak indeed, because no matter what they say, words can cut a person just as surely as a knife.

They hurt!